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It’s Going On Seven Years & No Ring

"Because I'm Human Sometimes I Get In My Feelings & Yea I Ask Myself Why Hadn't He Asked Me To Marry Him Yet? Is Something Wrong With Me, Am I Not Wifey Material"

Let me just start of by saying it’s freezing cold in Savannah Georgia right now. Last year around this time it was not this cold I don’t care what anyone says. I was still wearing sandals this time last year! Savannah weather is the most bipolar weather ever!
Okay this morning was such a struggle. I didn’t go to work because I had a migraine out this world and I kept throwing up….(TMI) I know, so sorry. I hate taking migraine medicine so most of the time I just wait until it goes away. Well my son had a dentist appointment and I canceled his appointment two weeks ago so I was going to make this dentist appointment come hell or high water. Anytime I don’t feel good which is not often my son always ask “mama should I call my grandma or mama should I call Lamar”? He is the sweetest child I tell you. He is forever concerned about his mama!

Now the good stuff

If we’re Facebook friends you may have noticed I asked this question…….
“Whats your time frame on staying in a relationship with a man before he marries you? How long is staying a girlfriend okay with you? I asked this question a few days ago. Here are some of the responses
” Im done after 2 – 3 years”
” I don’t have a time frame, we get married when it’s the right time”
” I’d give him 5 years, if no ring after 5 years we are DONE”
Mixed Responses for the most part
As we all know the beginning of any relationship is always roses and butterflies. It feels like a dream come true or a fairy tale you never ever ever want to end. Time flies by so quickly and now you’re left wondering what’s next.
Should we have a baby, or should we get married? It’s going on 7 years for crying out loud.
Well as far as more babies, that ain’t happening. He has 3 sons who I love like mine! Such smart handsome little boys! Then there’s Rayah and Benji my niece and nephew. Between him and I we have enough children! Trust me…….I had to get that out of the way so your mind can stop wondering—like NOW!
Oh how I hate saying the word “boyfriend”. After this long we should not refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. But we’re not married so what else can we call each other?

Dating Definition

Dating is supposed to be all about getting to know each other, you don’t wanna get married and then 2 years later (if you make it that long) find out she only brushes her teeth twice a week or you find out he’s a serial killer. Intense I know but oh so true. I’d say we know each other pretty well. He says the things I’m thinking all the time. He knows my moods and he knows when I just want to be left alone.
Of course we talk about marriage all the time and YES that’s the goal for the both of us. We both want to marry each other, we have conversations all the time about how our wedding venue will look, how many guest we’re going to have, our signature drink down to the food were going to eat. We gotta have a signature drink, that’s is a must. My good friends Cyasia and Justin had a beautiful wedding at Vics On The River, here in Savannah GA. Talk about #weddinggoals. Their signature drink was a “liquid marijuana”. That’s where I got the whole signature drink idea from!
To add we both have pretty big families. All of his family is here in Savannah GA. My family is all over the world from North Carolina to Memphis Tennessee to Los Angeles California –Hey grandma! Once we do get married I know it’s gonna be a celebration. Both our families know how to have fun!

Relationship Questions

Why is everyone rushing us to hurry and get married? Why is that always the question anytime we go out? Why does society rush you to get married?
Let’s start with daddy. He is the main one. He always ask just about every other day when are we getting married? Daddy and Mama were married for almost 30 years. Daddy is very old school. I mean very old school. Sometimes I don’t think we’re living in the same century. I’m pretty sure he’s still living in the 90’s & depending on the situation even late 80’s. Daddy thinks we should be married by now. Point blank. He even tells me things like “that man ain’t gone marry you, if so he would have done it already”. He says you better give him an ultimatum, or get the hell on. Now daddy is just looking out for me obviously, I’m his only baby girl. Naturally daddies want what’s best for their children. Daddy and mama got married at a very young age. So he thinks I should do the same. But again daddy that was the 80’s. Hello!
Most couples nowadays are in such a rush to get married. But that’s just the problem everyone wants to get married but who is really ready to be married. I can remember having many friends who rushed to get married and guess what— they are in totally different relationships now. I mean are couples still doing marriage counseling now a days? I thought it was a requirement.
How about this, I was helping one of my friends make gift bags for her wedding party one night and guess what the topic of her discussion was “divorce”. Now in my mind how can you have these thoughts 2 days before your wedding? I can remember another friend who stayed married for 20 days, yall I can’t make this stuff up. I now have a friend who is married and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like her husband. That’s a story for another blog post!
These are the things that Lamar and I discuss. We sit at the dinner table and laugh at our friends all the time. He even has a friend that’s been married twice since him and I have been together. Of course now he is divorced living his best life. Literally! One of our favorite shows to watch right now is Married At First Sight. It comes on lifetime, yes he watches lifetime with me! Lol —-
Ok so while you should never let other people’s situation affect yours, facts are facts. And when you rush to get married for all the wrong reasons, you will be divorced in no time.
Our relationship like everyone else’s is not perfect but we make it work. We are perfect for each other. He is a Taurus and I am a Capricorn, the two signs really are compatible. I looked it up!
Between the both of us there is so much we still need to work on. Now I can say we have come a very long way but there is still room to grow. & Because I’m human sometimes I get in my feelings, and yea I ask myself why hasn’t he asked me to marry him yet? Is something wrong with me, am I not wifey material? LOL
But them I remember how good he is to me and my son. My son’s biological father has no relationship with him. He’s even been in the same house with my son and won’t even speak to him…again another blog post for another day. So the fact that we pretty much do things that married couples do now why would I sweat a piece of paper? Ever since we met back in 2012 we’ve been best friends ever since. We have our ups and downs but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. We make each other better. I can honestly say I am a better person because of him. We have a very strong love connection!
relationshipgoals

#relationshipgoals or maybe not??

Ya know, marriage will come were not in any rush. I can promise you our wedding will be so lit! Just wait!
What are your thoughts on marriage? How long did you do the boyfriend girlfriend thing before you tied the knot? Am I being stupid? Am I waiting too long? Let me know in the comments below!

5 Comments


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    Breann Carbone

    I wouldn’t sweat it. That man loves you and yalls day will come eventually. Like you said a piece of paper don’t mean nothing compared to the love you guys have for each other. And I’d be calling myself his wife, married or not lol

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    Shalonda Walker

    When the time you’re s right, it will present itself. Marriage is a wonderful thing, especially when you have the “perfect” partner. Nothing is perfect, but you’ll be with someone who you can go through whatever with, and look back and say, “remember when, but we got through it!” Me and my husband do it all the time. You must communicate, and listen. I was a terrible listen, but I hear things out now. Me and my husband was boyfriend girlfriend for 3 years before we got married. We were both 25;we’re 30 now and marriage has been great so far. We are the only two in our marriage(it’s always been that way), no mom, no brother, no sister, NO ONE but us.
    If you and him talk about it all the time, it’s coming to past. I honestly dont think you’re being stupid. I can’t wait to see the engagement and the wedding.
    Congratulations already.

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    Cyasia

    Hmm, I’m on the fence about this one.. think it depends on what YOU want out of YOUR relationship. If you want to be married now.. or rather sooner than later than that’s what needs to happen. Just like you set goals daily, monthly or yearly.. you say what you want done and give yourself a deadline on when it needs to be accomplished. I read Steve Harvey’s “Think Like a Man” when it first came out. One chapter is all about how a man is literally going to do what you allow him to do… if you don’t set standards and say your wants/needs you want get them. Settling in a way. Annnnnd, if you both want to be married to one another than what’s the hold up? When you can honestly say you want to marry someone… and mean it!… that right there is big deal. So now that your mind is made action needs to follow. After you all talked and dated you all decided “I want them to be my boy/girlfriend” So, you have each other that title. You want to marry one another? Then get engaged and start plan a wedding. Goals. Goals. Goals. Again, is one thing to say we have a “goal” but to actually work towards it… & I mean work, that’s a different level.

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    Debra

    I have never been married but I realize everyone is not meant to be married. Some people I know are married on paper only . You have such a beautiful story about you all relationship and when the time comes y’all will get married . But whatever y’all decide to do let it be y’all decision. Just as long as y’all are happy is all that matters and in my daddy’s voice the 🔥with what other people say.💯💕

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    Cpc

    Society says that you should be married…..I use to agree with that….now that I’ve gotten older my thought process has changed. If you’re happy in your relationship, enjoy it,if you get married fine, if you don’t get married, that’s fine also….your father and I will be happy to walk you down the aisle, when and if that day comes.

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