Me too movement backlash
Personal Development

Why It’s Not Okay To Stay – A Message To All Women Going Into 2019

"Put On Some Red Lipstick And The Highest Pair Of Heels You Have And GET OUT"

Lately my thoughts have been all over the place. I’m probably going a mile a minute in life right now. But there is a method to my madness. You just have to stick around to see it! One day, rather it be 20 years from now or 30 years from now I won’t be able to do all the things I’m doing today. So going hard is a must in my life right now. Even though, I plan to keep my youth forever – my mind tells me one thing and my body tells me something else.
With all the chaos in the news today. From the Me Too Movement Backlash, the Chelsea Clinton Domestic Violence Scandal and the R. Kelly Documentary On Lifetime, I believe this is the perfect opportunity for me to speak to my ladies. I hope I do have your attention. (***clears throat***)
One of the perks about starting a lifestyle blog is you get the chance to experience with many different topics. I’m not just limited to one. Good thing is, I’m very passionate about many things so the variety works for me.

This is such a serious time for all women in the world right now. Woman of color especially, but this post is not about that. I’m speaking to all women of every race.
First I want to start off by saying
If you are a victim of any type of domestic or sexual abuse it’s time to start speaking up. If you don’t do it for yourself do it for the millions of women out there who lack the courage to speak up for themselves.
Let me just put out there –All that glitters is not gold
R. Kelly, Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby to name a few are all powerful men. They used their powers, their glitz and glam to take advantage of women. That is not okay. But I won’t get too deep into that conversation.
We often ask ourselves – or yell at the T.V., why don’t she just leave her abusive relationship or why won’t she attack back or even call the police? These are the exact questions that first came to mind when I watched Surviving R. Kelly on lifetime. While I don’t have the answers for any of these questions, I can only speak from the outside looking in. I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. I was taught if he hits you one time, he will hit you again. So don’t stick around for a second or third time.
Love is such a beautiful thing when you really get the chance to experience it. Love does not physically or mentally tare you down. Love does not call you bad names and try to hurt your feelings. Most women who stay in abusive relationships don’t know what love really is. Most importantly, they don’t love themselves. Nobody’s ever showed them unconditional love which leads to a difficult time recognizing what real love is. That’s when they settle.
Believe it or not there are many women out there with the mindset; If my man hits me, he must really love me. He hits you once and the first time your a little shocked, but it’s no biggie so you stay around. The next few times you find yourself with a black eye and or a swollen jaw. But nope, that’s still not enough to make you open your eyes.
Me too movement backlash
After the first time, it’s time to go! No that’s not love, that’s abuse.
Let’s not even dive into the effects of domestic violence on children. Your children see and hear everything. Even when you think they don’t hear you. They do! It’s so important for you as the parent to set a good example for them. Why? Because they deserve it.
I wrote this post to say
No women should stay around, put some red lipstick on and the highest pair of heels you have and GET OUT. Ladies it’s Times UP! You are beautiful and you are worthy.
Not sure if you are in an abusive relationship? Well check out this Domestic Abuse Checklist for more information.
2019 is a year of knowing your purpose and your self worth. Learning how to love yourself even when nobody else does. Learning what unconditional love is an how to receive it – that’s the first step.
What advice would you give a women in an abusive relationship. Have you ever experienced an abusive relationship?
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    Very good blog. Also mothers with boys,raise them to respect females. If he sees you being abused, he’s going to think that it’s okay for him to do the same thing as he gets older. There are also some that vow never to be abusive after witnessing this type of abuse.

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    Sandra Riguzzi

    I just wrote this week about my own story of being married to an abusive alcoholic. The response was amazing with friends telling me “We need to have coffee.” My kids were also telling me about the RKelly story … I had no idea it was still going on! I can’t believe people still go to his concerts and give him money. It’s all crazy and sad but I understand a lack of self-esteem.

    • Cheri


      Hi Sandra!
      I’m happy to hear you found the courage to leave your abusive relationship. You are in inspiration to others. You also have a very great group of friends, which is amazing! R.Kelly thought he was untouchable which burns me. Not anymore! Thanks for the love!

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